I'm Done With This Relationship
It's official. I just can't handle it anymore. The sleepless nights, feeling bad about myself, constant guilt, worrying about the future. After a 5-year rollercoaster ride I'm finally done. No, I'm not leaving Andy. We're great. I'm breaking my commitment to obesity. I'm 40 lbs overweight, people. 40 freaking pounds!! And don't excuse my language because I'm not sorry. It's warranted.
In the words of my precious husband, THIS IS NOT OK! It's not ok that because of my weight I have severe sleep apnea, I'm at a high risk for diabetes, and I hate chasing Charlie around the playground. It's not ok that several times a day I think about how I hate the way that I look and feel. I refuse to be fifty years old and telling the same sad story over and over about how skinny I was in college or how I weighed 115 when I got married. I refuse to do it. So here we are. I'm ending it now. I'm losing this weight. I'm going to get in shape and get healthy. I'm going to do it for myself, for Andy, for Charlie, for my future grandkids. In the words of the wise sage, Lyla Garrity (FNL anyone?), "How do you change your life? You just do it."
So, I'm cuttin' the crap.
I've developed a few guidelines/concepts to live by for the process of eating and living better.
Here we go (in no particular order):
(1) LOTS more water, fresh veggies & fruits, lean meats
(2) Stop binging on carbs for goodness sakes!
(3) Sugar is not my friend. No more "treats".
(4) I'm breaking my commitment to burgers and pizza. I love them but they don't love me back. They're mean friends.
(5) Skipping meals is bad, healthy snacking is good.
(6) The good feeling from exercising and eating well lasts a lot longer than the two-second gratification that I get from a donut.
(7) This is not a diet. It's a lifestyle change.
I've also started a Couch to 5K running program. It's three days a week for nine weeks. I did my first workout last night and I loved it.
So there it is. You've read it. You'll be watching me. I have to follow through now. Yes, the holidays are coming up. It's ok though. I'll have my turkey dinner and piece of pumpkin pie. You can't make me overeat as I would normally do and you can't make me sample every type of pie in the house. I won't do it. You can't make me. I'm a changed person.
Anyone else out there need a change? I'd love to have you join me. Support is good. Let me know.
10 comments:
I'm with you Amy. I lose it, gain it, lose it, so on and so forth. I weighed 114 when your dad and I married almost 40 years ago. I weigh 11 pounds more now than the day I gave birth to you and April. That is pretty sad. It helps me to weigh every morning. I write it down. That way, I know if my weight is going up or down on a daily basis, and believe me, it does. My biggest problem lately is going out for meals-a lot. Also my snacking after dinner is going on again. So, I'm with you on your quest. I'll share my weight with you in a private email, plus we can share what we ate for the day. When I was losing, which I am trying to do again, I would not use a big plate. If we do go out, no buffets. Can bring home leftovers and have three meals out of one. Eat until you feel full and that is it. Shall we get together and talk about the Thanksgiving meal? We don't have to have all that we usually do. I know everyone wants to watch their weight, well maybe not your sweet tooth dad though.
OKAY Amy. I'm with you starting today.
Way to go!! Last night, I was thinking the same thing about myself. After reading your encouraging blog, I have decided that I am going to start walking and eating healthier again. I have been researching indoor grills this morning, so if you know of a good grill, let me know:)
I would love to do the couch to 5K with you! I started it a few months ago...did the first two workouts and then quit. I don't have an athletic bone in my body, but I'll try again! You've inspired me to get off the couch, away from the leftover Halloween candy, and start making changes that will make a difference!
I don't think I've ever commented on this blog -- but you have inspired me. If I say this here, I must follow through. I AM WITH YOU! I've made excuse after excuse about why my clothes don't fit anymore, why I don't sleep well, and don't have energy during the day. I tell myself I don't have time to eat right. I tell myself I just had a baby (a YEAR ago!) I haven't run on the treadmill because I wanted to move the TV so I wouldn't be "bored". Well, I moved it two months ago, and still haven't touched the treadmill. That's it. I'm done with making excuses. I will eat better and provide better meals for my family. I've printed out the "Couch to 5K" program and will start it tonight. Thanks for the motivation!
WOO HOO! Go Amy! I'll be with you starting in February. :)
Amy, in the past 3 months of doing weight watchers and so far losing 23.4 pounds, i can not express the true feeling that i have of how better i feel. Not just that people are starting to notice, but also the fact of how i feel on the inside and proud i am of myself. I just FEEL better. I am not as ashamed as i once was. One thing they DRILL into our heads is, "its NOT a diet, its a lifestyle change". That is VERY true!!
Yes, WW sets the boundries, motivates, encourages, and is an easy plan to follow but when you think of it at the end of the day its all really very simple. It comes down to your choices and your mindset more than anything. They have taught us MANY tools, like what your mom said about eating out- to avoid the buffets. Try ordering and WHEN they bring your food, ask for a to-go box. Only eat 1/2 of your meal, and save the rest for lunch the next day. SO many places substitue, take advantage of it. :)
We have found MANY recipies - lets experiment @ Christmas :) I am TOTALLY with you with creating holiDAY meals that will not make us go overboard. :)
I think you have touched a few by this blog, and i admit i am one of them as i still have pretty far to go, but its so much easier to stick with the change and resist temptations when you have the love and support that you do. Email me when you get a chance! I think we can share LOTS! :) Love ya!!
- Amy Bowman (the 1st)
Awesome! I am so excited for you. if I lived close I would do the 5k with you, but alas I live in dallas. I struggle with the carb thing as well. What helps me is to keep them out of the house. Then when I have a craving, I go to the pantry or fridge and "oh darn" nothing is there. Ha! Then I remember why i don't by the stuff. Also, I can't shop when I am hungry. Then the carbs make their way back into my life. Eeeek. Good luck. You're gonna do great!
Oh my word, you sound exactly like I feel!! I have had so many of the same thoughts go through my head lately-about how I feel, look, the apnea, etc-and am tired of making excuses!!
I am with you-thank you for the inspiration!! I pray you do well and stick to it, and I hope I can also!! :) Way to go!!
Hello Amy,
My name is Robby Velardez and I am an overeater!!! For those of you who do not know me, God sent the Bowman's into our lives one day and since then, they have been good friends. For that, we are in debt to God forever!!! I was intrigued by your post on your battle to change your lifestyle. I know this comes at a later time than when you originally posted it but I was just told about "Flowers" and we went on your blog to check out the pics and I read the rest of your blog and somehow this caught my eye. I have to say that your story saddened me because I have always thought you were beautiful (thin or not). The sad part for me is that I feel your pain. I have made pledges in my lifetime to change my lifestyle but just like others on this blog, I have also failed resorting back to my old ways. I speak with a heavy heart today because I am anxious to begin my journey. I do not know if I am the only man replying to your blog but the only reason is because I am on vacation and I had time to read your blog (also caught up on Oprah and Dr. Phil HA HA HA). My mind tells me to change but my ways of consuming food in bulk is hard to change. I do not see this as a challenge; I see it as a struggle (just like addicts struggle with their addictions). Honestly, as I get older I can see my life slipping away. My grandfather passed away from a massive heart attack at the age of 36.....my brother is now 33 years old and has had a mild heart attack. Guess what folks, I am 36 years old and I fear that one day my time will come sooner than I need it to. I have 2 beautiful children (Meghan & Nick), a gorgeous wife (Connie), and an army of family and friends who would probably like to see me stick around for the ride (well some of them would, ok....I won't lie, maybe some of them). Anyhow, I cannot promise what will happen 1, 3, 5 months from now, but I can promise that each day I will do something different to continue to make that life change. I do not know if anyone is still doing this but if you are, good for you. If not, today is another day. I will continue to update with you at least once a week. For those of you interested, my e-mail is
rcmnv9403@sbcglobal.net
Drop me a message anytime, I will reply ASAP. If you see a short fat guy running down the street with a Black T-Shirt that says "Under Construction" on the front & back, don't stop and offer him a burrito, honk at him and smile. Talk to you all soon.
Your brother from another mother,
Roberto
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