The only thing I've had to eat today is pizza. Don't get me wrong--I didn't plan it this way but sometimes it just happens. We had a pizza lunch with our church class and then Andy ordered pizza for the youth group guys that came over tonight--I mean, was I just supposed to sit and stare at it? While the guys were over I watched our friends' baby (16 months?), Hunter. This is one of the most beautiful children ever made. He looks like a little Precious Moments doll. We played outside and took a walk down the street to visit Ashley. Kids are awesome but they're hard. I'm pretty selfish about my alone time, my leisure time, my work time, my, my, my. As I understand it, I have approximately 4 months and counting to get over that. Ouch. Children are a blessing and I'm so excited about having my own "Little Buddy" but I also know it's hard work. I'm in for quite the awakening! It's ok though--I asked for it and I think I'm ready for the challenge.
If you study the history of families in U.S. society you'll note that this intensive parenting thing we have going on is a relatively new concept. In fact, the actual concept of childhood as something that should be developed and protected didn't even exsist until the last 100 years or so (the concept of adolescence not until the '60s!). Kids weren't protected as innocent creatures--they were just fed and exercised until they were adults capable of producing and contributing their full weight to society. So, what happened between then & now? Well, a lot of things. Now I see a lot of parents in this hyper mode of craziness where all they are 24/7 is parents. They cease being husband, wife, daughter, son, friend, worker, etc. How do we teach our kids to be responsible and satisfied in these roles if we are not ourselves? So, in order to find all the answers and solve all the world's problems, I'm devising a list. What kind of parent do I want to be? A good one. Not a perfect one. Not one that doesn't exist outside of parenthood or one that just occasionaly visits the outside world, but one who incorporates a child into my life rather than giving up my life. **Please note that this is not in response to any friends, family, acquaintances, etc. who I think are doing things "wrong"--how would I know anyway--I'm not a parent yet! This is a list to remind myself of who I want to be as a parent--it's always good to set some goals and guidelines before you start a big adventure!**
A few of my self-developed keys to parenting success that I'm writing on my list so far:
(1) If I give up myself for the sake of my child it's not much of a gift because there's none of me left in the end.
(2) I don't now, nor do I ever need to, know everything about parenting or anything else for that matter--and that's ok.
(3) Being "up" on the latest gear & trends in "mommying" does not make a good parent.
(4) Protecting my kid from everything might be just as bad as exposing him to everything.
(5) It's ok if my house isn't perfect and I don't make the cake myself. With five kids in my family it was a celebration just to remember each other's birthdays!
(6) Just because I don't enroll in Stroller Fit doesn't mean that I don't want to be the best that I can be for my husband and child! Maybe my best just revolves around other things.
(7) Teaching my kids about the world is just as important as protecting them from it.
(8) This child doesn't just belong to me. He's a gift from God, my parents, my grandparents, Andy's parents & his grandparents, our siblings, etc. Without some of them we literally wouldn't be here to have this child and without the others we wouldn't be the people we are. Because of this and many other reasons, this child will be shared--we're just the "key players" involved.
(9) Just because I think no one can take care of him as good as I can doesn't mean it's true. I need several good vacations a year and we'll work out a rotation with the grandparents to keep watch!
(10) If I don't give my child a church family to love and trust and a church family to love him back I'm depriving him of one of God's greatest gifts.
4 comments:
Wow! Couldn't have said it better. Please print this list and have it handy after you have little Charlie. It's so easy to say before we have our kids and then I find myself forgetting things other than my kids on a daily basis. Loved this one Amy! Way to think ahead. Words of wisdom: Sleep coninuously now! You will never be 100% rested again or 100% your own! By the way, it's well worth it!
Dude- I've been in a hole. My MOM told me about your new house...geez. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Man, they must pay the residents and profs pretty well in LBB! Seriously, it sounds divine and beautiful! Ken and I are so happy for you and can't wait to see it in person. Where is it? And is there a game left this season we can catch with you?
Way to go on the crib! And I love, love, love all the philosophies about Charlie and parenting,etc. I'm not quite there yet, but my world is slowly being engulfed by moms and dads our age... So, are you coming on retreat or what???
Girl, great thoughts. I agree with everything. I am enjoying my idealist thoughts on parenting since reality hasn't set it yet.
Thanks for bring little Hunter down yesterday. How cute is that kid? OH, he kills me.
My blogs are on the level of a first grader, then hear comes your thesis on parenting. You may need to post light hearted, short ones everyonce in awhile so that those without our PhD's can make it through.
Amen, and keep on preachin! Even though I don't know it yet myself, I'm finding the longings of being a good parent weighing on me as I'm growing my first child. It's really refreshing to read your list on your aspirations as a mom. I can only assume that somewhere we will ALL fall short of these things one time or another, but thankful for the grace along the way.
Anyway, I'm certainly thankful that Charlie is going to be born to probably the world's most loving and easy going people I know. He will be well-rounded and most definately brilliant!
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