Bowman West

Decluttering

How in the world is it that I've gained ten pounds in the last three months?? I'm supposed to be losing weight. UGH!! This is very depressing. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's all the crap I've been eating and the lack of exercise. I don't have a PhD in diet and nutrition though so I can't be sure. Seriously, I'm not sure that my face can get any wider. I wrote about my weight several months ago, and I quickly lost seven or so pounds in the following month or two. I was running, eating better, and feeling great. I even made it through the holidays. Then things got hectic, and since then I have come to the realization that I am an emotional eater. Shocker. Most people who are overweight are. It's weird though, because I never thought I was. In fact, all the way through high school and college I was an emotional non-eater. Whenever I'd get upset, stressed or busy I'd completely lose my appetite. I couldn't even look at food. I was one of those girls who at times was "too skinny." Now I hate those girls. Just kidding. Not really. Here's the thing: junk food makes me feel better. No really, it does. Ice cream, chocolate, pizza, anything with butter or cream...it all tastes really good and makes me happy when I eat it. Sure, it only lasts two seconds before the extreme guilt sets in but it's pure bliss for those two seconds. In the last few months my life has been:
Andy's blitz of fellowship interviews, Andy's choosing a fellowship, "Let's move to Virginia in three months, okay?", fly to D.C., to Lubbock, Atlanta, to Austin, to Dallas, to Lubbock, to Austin, to blah blah blah, welcome parents to visit, take dad to ER then to hospital across the state, drive to Austin, fly back home, avoid packing, drive to Dallas, raise a decent two-year-old, etc. My face, my gut, my thighs and everything else are huge and screaming for relief. This IS NOT a pity party. I'm just trying to be real, and for anyone who's seen me lately, I'm just stating the obvious. I've been eating lots of crap lately.

Anyway, I'm getting back on the wagon. I could wait until we move. You know, get a fresh start. Frankly, I can't take myself that long. If I see one more french fry I may lose it. Andy forced me to listen to Dave Ramsey's book on CD on the five-hour trip home from Dallas today. I, in turn, forced him to sit in the passenger seat and deal with Charlie the whole way home. I think I got the good end of that deal. Dave Ramsey is quite over the top but has a lot of good things to say. Andy also recently read the book "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat" by the clean sweep guy. This has all prompted us to say, "Enough is enough!". Enough fatness. Enough clutter. Enough debt. I'm completely sick of it. This is not who we want to be. This is not what we want to teach our kid. I guess that's all I want to say about that for now. I'm sure I'll bring it up again later.

By the way, thanks for the comments and emails about the blog going private. I have no idea who reads this thing. To those that emailed, I'm going to write you back. We've just been out of town. I'd like to send a special shout out to my second cousin Stacey in Oklahoma. I had NO IDEA that you read my blog! How great is that?? Stacey's dad was my granddaddy's brother Bud. Uncle Bud was great. He let me drive his boat one time, and they had a bird that flew around the house and landed on my head. Birds still freak me out.
I got to visit with two great friends in Dallas this weekend (shout out!) and they made fun of the things that I post on here, mainly the stories and pictures about poop and the like. Look -- no one ever told me that parenthood would be this weird. There were tons of "It's such a blessing," "Kids are a gift from God," etc. It is and they are. But, NO ONE TOLD ME that I would step on poop, have to deal with so much vomit, or so many other things that I haven't had the courage to post about yet. You're thinking, "You mean you're actually holding back?". Yes, I am. I'm holding back A LOT, so just stay tuned...you never know when that very last semblance of a filter will fail.