Bowman West

Ten Years Ago...

I was utterly convinced that at this moment my life would be complete with husband, kid(s) and a career as a university professor. Over the last ten years I worked through four years of undergrad, two years of masters and four years in a doctoral program. Ten years ago I would have never imagined that my goals and desires would change, but they have. A few weeks ago I decided that I was done with my Ph.D. I don't get the letters or credentials but I'm done. It's the hardest decision I've ever made but I feel that God has been leading me to it for a while now and I've finally had the courage to listen. I don't know what He has in store for the future, whether I'll return and finish down the road, but for now I have a new job that for the first time in my life doesn't include the role of "student."

So, today was my first official day on the job. I didn't wake up stressed about deadlines missed or looming overhead. I didn't rush around getting ready to go to a university campus. I didn't take Charlie to daycare. Instead Charlie and I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together, read lots of books, played outside and traded tons of hugs and kisses. I got to see what he's like in the middle of a weekday. I got to be the one telling Andy what Charlie did all day instead of relaying what the daycare folks told me.

I know it won't be easy. I truly believe that being a good "stay-at-home" (as if we actually stay at home 24/7!) parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. There will be times when my head hurts and I just want to sit and watch my shows saved on the DVR. There will be times when I long for the days of studying alone in a coffee shop at 10:00 am instead of reading Dr. Suess for the fifth time in the last hour. I gladly trade it though.

I am blessed to still have the opportunity to study, read and teach what I love on a part-time basis so I'll be doing that as well for now. I am also truly thankful for the support and understanding of my friends and family through this transition. I know that I've had educational opportunities that most can only dream of. On the other hand, I know that being able to stay home with my child is also an opportunity that most can only dream of. I guess you could say I'm trading one dream for another. In no way do I feel that my education or the money spent on it was a waste. My educational experience is a large part of who I am today and that will never change. I truly believe that both the experience and the material that I have learned has made me a better person in every area of my life.

One of the first questions that people have asked when hearing of my decision has been, what does Andy think? Andy has always supported my goals and dreams and this is no exception. His unwavering support and patience amazes me. We're both excited for this new phase in our lives and anxious to see where God leads us.

Ok...so serious...here's something a little lighter:
The other day Charlie was sitting on my lap eating raisins for his afternoon snack. As always he dropped some on the floor and I'm sure in the chair as well--no big deal, this is expected. Later that night I went to use the restroom and...oh my goodness...what is that in my underwear??!!!...oh, it's just a raisin. Sometimes this parenthood thing cracks me up. And no, I didn't eat the raisin.